One of the most lonely and painful times of the year starts Thursday

One of the most painful and lonely times of my year, every year is celebrated this Thursday. Yes Thanksgiving. While I have much to be thankful to my Heavenly Father for, still its the being nearly all alone. So far from family, so far from the MC members and so far from my original home. A few years ago it wasn't as bad, although still there, Charlie of A1 in Twin Falls would always invite me over to his place, for the traditional feed, but I still went home alone, and just vegitated, or just went out and got drunk, to the point I couldn't feel the pain any more. Mom & Dad sleep in a very cold grave just outside of Grace Idaho. My Step Brother Steve is presumed dead, although still recorded as missing in action just out side of some dinky town in south Vietnam, I'm sure I could get together with some of my kin folk near and in Grace, still I'd feel like an invader, plus General JaXson, isn't still feeling too good for that long of a haul, so I'm restricted to the amount of distance that I can go. That's Thanksgiving, beyond that is of course Christmas. Another supposedly peace giving all affectionate time of year, but all that glitters and shines ain't so fine, for one who is destined to prowl life alone. My partner at the shop and a friend of his that is a hang around there, says that being with a good woman and all, does not bother them, that they can go without. Really? Oh how I'd love having a someone here at home to greet me when I come home and cuddle with as well as having a warm body, to share the holidays with. When it comes to Janice, I screwed the pooch there my self ain't no one to blame but myself, but it doesn't hurt any less. Although, had I known the outcome there I'd have gave into Robin,(Miss Dixie Diesel 1993) or Debbie, (Foxy Mama 1995) Lost on technicalities of way too many people having way too much control over me and the Montgomery Foundation's treasury. That's a story for another time. Thing is I'm alone, and I'm just feeling it now. Added to that having to cough up $60.00 the overdue fee on my rent here at the Wentworth by Wednesday, caused by a greedy bunch at Young's Dodge in Morgan Utah. Hope my Partner can find that $60.00 by Wednesday, so I'm not out in the cold. 
Oh yes, Happy Thanksgiving, pure Bull stuff.
TTYLY